ENGLANDISM
Celebrating 1,100 Years of England 927 – 2027
Monday 12th July 2027
England Day 2027
England was united under Æthelstan in 927 at Eamont Bridge. 1,100 years later let’s celebrate our unification as a nation.
The Domesday Clock is ticking, set to 0927 BST, Monday 12th July 2027.
1,100 years of hurt
Celebrating 1100 years since the foundation of England on July 12th 927AD.
The USA has just done its 250th foundation celebration, Canada annually celebrates its July 1st unification and Australia gives grateful thanks to the British arriving on January 26th.
England, the nation that founded all of them, including the United Kingdom, was first established on July 12th 927AD at Eamont Bridge, just off the M6 in Cumbria, 15 miles north of Tebay Services.
No acknowledgement, no public holiday or any form of celebration is planned to celebrate the oldest major nation state in Europe. Englandism: let’s celebrate our civic and cultural legacy on July 12th with a bank holiday, please, Mr Burnham.
What do…
Marmalade, the Garden of Eden and King Arthur’s Round Table have in common?
They are all just off the M6, south of Penrith, in Cumbria adjacent to the village of Eamont Bridge where England was unified under King Æthelstan of Wessex.
Tripadvisor advises a trip to the Eden Millennium Monument (50 tonnes), King Arthur’s Round Table (a largish bomb crater) and the Dalemain World Marmalade Awards and Festival: International Marmalade Championships are on around St. George’s Day 2027, get your sugar boiled by February 1st.
Eamont Bridge is celebrating ‘Five Kings, one Kingdom. 1100 years later, we’re bringing that extraordinary moment back to life.’ Meanwhile, the British government has ‘no plans’ to celebrate England 1100, at all.
A Brief History of Time
United in 927 and disunited in 2027 from Æthelstan to Ændy Burnham & Ængela Rayner.
Wessex Founded
The West Saxon kingdom of Wessex founded by Cerdic in God’s own shire of Wiltshire (Wilton).
Alfred the Great
Saved England from the Danish horde at the Battle of Ethandun, Wiltshire, in 878. Liked cakes.
Æthelstan United England
England created at Eamont Bridge, Cumbria, forming the oldest useful nation in the world.
Norman Conquest
Northern Vikings win at Hastings following English victory at Stamford Bridge.
Union with Scotland
Scotland bought by an English hedge fund and permitted to make marmalade and shortbread.
United Kingdom
Barking bonkers George III becomes King of Ireland as well adding an X to the UK flag.
Devolution
British government cedes the Union to the Scottish, Northern Irish & Welsh Parish Councils.
Disunion
British government cancels England as a nation state and divides into regions.
Marmalade World Cup
Undercrackerenary: England wins International Marmalade Best in Show on 1,100th anniversary.
What do we want & when do we want it?
The United Kingdom government to permit a bank holiday in England on July 12th 2027 to celebrate 1,100 years of continuous English cultural identity. There are currently no plans at either No.10 Downing Street or No.10 Manchester to commemorate the foundation of the founding state of the United Kingdom other than importing the Normans (again) & the disestablishment of England as a nation state.
European Year of the Normans
Europe-wide celebration of 1,000 years since the birth of William the Conqueror.
Europe is celebrating the Norman conquest of England with scheduled shenanigans emphasising the fall of Anglo-Saxon England. The French have, somehow, convinced the British government to display the Bayeux Tapestry in London to reinforce the point.
This does give us the opportunity to remind France that the Normans, the Norse-men, came from Scandinavia and were actually Vikings.
Other notable Viking overlords of England include the great Cnut of Knutsford, Cheshire. Luckily, he was replaced by a proper Wessex king prior to the Norsemen from Normandy winning on penalties. We’d just mullered some other Norses at Stamford Bridge (not Chelsea).
Englandism & Manchesterism
Nations & Regions to finally divide England in 2027 for ‘our own good’.
Without our consent, with minimal consultation and no democratic mandate, England is being permanently dismantled in 2027.
To mark 1,100 years of continuous English national identity, His Majesty’s Government will establish Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland as ‘nations’ and subdivide England into ‘equivalent regions’. Nations & Regions.
Unlike Scotland and Wales, there is no English parliament. The government has formed a Mayoral Council, which met in York in June ’26, but this is subject to direct rule by Westminster. The same circumstances that led to Magna Carta in 1215 when the English regions combined to limit central power.
Spot the Norman: a game for all the family!
Use your Norman memory skills to spot the Normans, and potentially win a prize.
CLUE ONE: He’s Big in Albania, he clutches his cloth cap and was the nemesis of Mr. Grimsdale. Lived back in the monochrome days of old England.
CLUE TWO: Used to be the bass player with Hull hellraisers The Housemartins although he wasn’t called Martin, but was in da house with the funk soul brothers.
CLUE THREE: He wasn’t a bass player with Slade but was in Slade as an habitual criminal, who accepts arrest as an occupational hazard, and presumably accepts imprisonment in the same casual manner.
CLUE FOUR: He won’t let you in if you’re wearing trainers but if Crocs are good enough for B&M then they’re good enough for this obscure Halifax Hardman.
CLUE FIVE: He was directly responsible for the slaughter and starvation of over 100,000 English civilians during the scorched-earth pacification that followed the Norman Conquest. His policy of dispossession and the establishment of a remote, foreign, elite laid the foundations of the English class system and popular insurrection. He was also quite tubby and exploded during his funeral.
CLUE SIX: Another iconic psychopathic Norman shower stabber but he did not explode at his own funeral showering the congregation with his fetid entrails as a result of gaseous post mortem bloating after fatally crashing into his own horse Scroll down for answers.
Eurovision Year of the Normans Video
There’s a Europe-wide celebration of 1,000 years since the birth of William the Conqueror…here’s the video.
DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional comedy/parody video. It is not an official Eurovision entry and is not affiliated with the Eurovision Song Contest, the EBU or France Télévisions. Le Royaume-Uni nul points, my arse.
“The 2027 European Year of the Normans which will celebrate the millennium of William the Conqueror, through cooperation, cultural and educational activities that will recall the strength of our links, past, present, and future.”
“The Government has no plans to create a one-off bank holiday to mark the 1100th anniversary of the unification of England under King Athelstan.” October 2025.
Englandism News Articles
As it happens, and doesn’t happen on the countdown to July 12th 2027. Yes there’s a bit of optimisation going on here but we’re only simple country folk up against a gurt big Government machine.
How Old Is England? When Was England Founded?
We’re Back! The Only Way is Wessex
The Curse of the Mummy versus Yorkshire Puddings
Proclaiming Scotland’s World Cup bank holiday (for turning up)
Westminster’s Time Is Ending — But Who Speaks for the Nation That Pays Most of Its Bills?
A New Runnymede? How English Devolution Could Unintentionally Lead to an English Parliament
FOE (Fear of England) God Save the King versus Jerusalem
The British State and English National Identity: see no EVEL.
English Flags & Symbols from Wessex to St George’s Cross
English Heritage Celebrates 960 Years Since the Norman Conquest — But What About England’s 1,100th Anniversary?
England Day 2027: Could Celebrating England’s Unification Cause Offence Across the United Kingdom?
Is British now the officially approved English identity?
Bookmark or Share the News
All the Englandism news on one mobile-friendly page:
Answers: Left to right: Norman Bates (Psycho), Norman Stanley Fletcher, Norman Wisdom, Norman the Doorman, Norman Cook, William the Conqueror.
FAQ
Has the skeleton and/or the helmet of King Æthelstan ever been found in a car park in Leicester?
No. As King of Wessex and all England, Æthelstan was initially interred at Malmesbury in Wiltshire but may well be under the Oasis Leisure Centre in nearby Swindon.
However, Richard of York who was buried in a car park, had a son called George Plantagenet who was drowned in a vat of Malmsey wine.
Unlike Ændy Burnham, was Æthelstan elected by the popular vote to be King of the North/England?
Strangely, yes. In the sense that the House of Wessex did not automatically pass leadership by first born of the royal line. The choice of king was subject to choice according to ability and competence. For example, Alfred the Great of Wessex was effectively elected to bypass the scrotes.
Whilst Europe is celebrating 1000 years of William the Conqueror, was he actually French?
No. The Normans were of Viking ancestry and had already given the local baguette munchers a right good Norse kicking. It should also be noted that William died shortly after crashing into a horse (not a norse) and was too bloated to fit in his tomb. His burial later took place at Caen multi-storey car park.
The Global Marmalade Championships are scheduled for St George's Day 2027 near Eamont Bridge. Do the Scottish always win?
Probably and however. Despite claiming world golden shredded domination, the Scots did not invent English breakfast preserves. Eliza Cholmondeley first boiled up her sugar and Sevilles in 1677 marginally before Janette ‘Wee Jimmy’ Krankie was born.
No.10 Downing Street, London, now has a clone in Manchester. Is this to represent England when the four nations of the UK have a get together?
No. No.10 Manchester is the regional office of a regional subset of the regions of the nation formerly known as England. England does not have a legislature or an executive to represent the English with the same function that Holyrood, Cardiff and Stormont democratically provide for the ‘nations’.
Scotland, Wales and non-nation Northern Ireland are nations, everyone else should do as they are told. And if we keep making that moaning face, the wind will change, and we’ll stay like that. Because I said so.
What is the difference between Manchesterism and Englandism?
The former asserts that England should wear bucket hats, just roll with it and shut up. The latter argues that instead of looking back in anger, we should celebrate our English civic identity with a bank holiday on Monday 12th July 2027.
Even more FAQs: what is Englandism?
What it is and what it is not…
see more
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